Why Not Me?
Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub
From the author of the beloved New York Times bestselling book Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? and the creator and star of The Mindy Project comes a collection of essays that are as hilarious and insightful as they are deeply personal.
In Why Not Me?, Kaling shares her ongoing journey to find contentment and excitement in her adult life, whether it’s falling in love at work, seeking new friendships in lonely places, attempting to be the first person in history to lose weight without any behavior modification whatsoever, or most important, believing that you have a place in Hollywood when you’re constantly reminded that no one looks like you.
In “How to Look Spectacular: A Starlet’s Confessions,” Kaling gives her tongue-in-cheek secrets for surefire on-camera beauty, (“Your natural hair color may be appropriate for your skin tone, but this isn’t the land of appropriate–this is Hollywood, baby. Out here, a dark-skinned woman’s traditional hair color is honey blonde.”) “Player” tells the story of Kaling being seduced and dumped by a female friend in L.A. (“I had been replaced by a younger model. And now they had matching bangs.”) In “Unlikely Leading Lady,” she muses on America’s fixation with the weight of actresses, (“Most women we see onscreen are either so thin that they’re walking clavicles or so huge that their only scenes involve them breaking furniture.”) And in “Soup Snakes,” Kaling spills some secrets on her relationship with her ex-boyfriend and close friend, B.J. Novak (“I will freely admit: my relationship with B.J. Novak is weird as hell.”)
Mindy turns the anxieties, the glamour, and the celebrations of her second coming-of-age into a laugh-out-loud funny collection of essays that anyone who’s ever been at a turning point in their life or career can relate to. And those who’ve never been at a turning point can skip to the parts where she talks about meeting Bradley Cooper.
whenever I feel like it. That’s because my favorite writer is my friend B. J. Novak. I will freely admit: my relationship with B.J. is weird as hell. He is not my boyfriend, but he is not exactly my best friend. The best way I would describe him is that he is my ex-husband, and we have a son who is away at boarding school, so our fighting can never get that bad, because it would upset our child. I don’t think Facebook would accept that as a new status. They would just categorize it as “it’s
best friends, not lame fake friends trying to impress each other with how fascinated we are with culture and learning. I’d hired a hair and makeup team to get us ready. They regularly did hair and makeup for a very famous African American actress, whom I’m dying to tell you about but I can’t. (How about this: if you ever run into me on the street I will tell you.) The whole time we were getting ready I was trying to get dirt on this actress but they revealed nothing, which drove me crazy,
like him buying a billboard in Times Square that says I AM NOT ATTRACTED TO YOU. I walked into my house, got into bed with all my clothes on, and cried. At work the next day, people were excited. “Jeremy and Matt say Will exists!” they said, wanting to know details of our night together. “He’s not interested. I think I just have a weird new male friend,” I announced to them, explaining my night. They booed. And at that moment, I got a text. It was Will, on Air Force One, about to take off back
light you wherever you go. SCARY MASKS! When I was fifteen, I would wake up, wash my face with the same bar of Lever 2000 I used on my body, wash my hair with an all-in-one shampoo, and be done with it. Back then, we all thought Lever 2000 was the best because the number “2000” seemed so impressive. Were there 1999 formulas before they landed on this one? That sounds really well researched. I’m in! Oh, how I miss that charmingly low-maintenance version of myself. Now when I wake up, if I
funny thoughts and their friendship. Sonia Kharkar for her precision and for sitting next to me for months, eating cookies. Greg Daniels for his guidance and for his standing offer to take me hiking in Temescal Canyon, even though he knows I would rather die. Ike Barinholtz and David Stassen for spending hours with me on dark stages, whispering hilarious and disgusting things. Stephen Colbert, Barack Obama, Colin Firth, and Andy Serkis for our profound friendship (and for letting me use their