The World According to Danny Dyer: Life Lessons from the East End

The World According to Danny Dyer: Life Lessons from the East End

Danny Dyer

Language: English

Pages: 320


Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub

This book is a window into the world of Danny Dyer - and he's seen more of the world than most so he's got one or two things to say about it.

Tackling such vital questions as 'Where have all the old school boozers gone?' 'Are there such things as ghosts?' and 'Am I middle class?' Danny shares his unique take on life with characteristic honesty and humour and reveals why it is that:

· What goes around comes around - he learnt the hard way
· You can take the boy out of the East End but you can't take the East End out of the boy
· Harold Pinter is a diamond geezer
· He told the media training expert to do one
· Science can prove that West Ham are the best football club in the world
· Him and Joanne are like a team - he's Paul Gascoigne, she's David Batty
· The human race isn't evolved enough for Twitter

So, hold on to your titfer, it's gonna be a bumpy ride!

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An Evil Cradling

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ripped to bits. I freeze. I know I shouldn’t but it’s just that blokes aren’t designed to talk about their feelings. If they go out together they talk bollocks with each other – sport, jokes, all that. Talking about our feelings just don’t come naturally to us. Maybe in the future it will. They say women are from Venus, men are from Mars. To me it’s like women are from Stoke Newington – Victorian houses, wholefood shops, jazz cafés, cashback at the foot spa and worried about litter on the high

and saying, ‘Fuck me, I’m a celebrity.’ Actually, I wouldn’t be surprised if ‘Fuck me, I’m a Celebrity’ becomes a reality show. The way I was going at that point, I’d have ended up on it. That’d make your bushtucker challenge look a bit more appetizing, wouldn’t it? Let’s be fair, I’d begun to be viewed as a bit of a liability. I’m stuck in the old-school mould of Oliver Reed. I like to drink and I’m never afraid to talk about that, never afraid to give a comment and call it like I see it.

His defence was hilarious. I ain’t exactly Kavanagh QC but I tell you this, the defence ‘My threat to brutally assault you was my way of saying you are beautiful,’ ain’t gonna cut it in any court I’ve heard of. Chuck yer hands up and say ‘guilty’ mate, you’ll get off lighter. Half the time we know that these tweets are done by fifteen-year-old boys in some bedroom in Nantwich or somewhere who are just impressing themselves by being nasty in between visits to porn sites. But some older people

manual labour was done by machines and people would live in a leisure society. What the fuck happened to that? The machines took the jobs but the other side of the bargain was fucking nowhere. If you’re one of them people who for generations would have been happy stamping a hole in a bit of metal for forty years, then society allows the company to come up with something to replace you, shouldn’t that society owe you and your class of people some compensation? You can’t just say, ‘Here, you, we’ve

the security forces were just trying to warn her, to show her what might happen if she didn’t play the game by dumping her knocky boyfriend. It does seem too much like a coincidence that her boyfriend Dodi was about to propose to her – it’s said that he’d bought a ring. Not only was he a Muslim, he was the son of Mohamed Al Fayed, someone the British establishment fucking hated. There are also rumours that Diana was pregnant – photos of her taken on a beach seemed to show her with a bit of a

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